I'm baaaack!

...at least for now :)
You may have guessed by now, I have an extremely short attention span - which is why I disappeared from the blog scene for a while. My mind and time was occupied with a million other just as unimportant things!
Anyway - major update on my life: HE'S GONE :( Okay, okay - I'm being dramatic - but anyway, he moved to the Ontario area - a whole 2 hr flight away. He hasn't dropped me though - we're still doing the long distance thing, going on 4 years and 2 months now - feels like a lifetime. This is the first time I've been away from him for this long over the 4 year period. And surprisingly, I'm doing quite well. I had my first two days of crying constantly coz I missed him so much, and then another two days of bitching about him spending too much time with a certain female - but now I'm over all that and life is slowly returning back to normal.
I thought I'd be bored outta mind and have nothing to do - but I seem to have plenty to do. I'm back in the gym too, and I'm actually going almost every day without being coerced into it - That's a BIG deal for me :) 'Coz not only am I fickle, I'm lazy too!
Tonite - I'm going to go shoe shopping. I'd like to find 2 pairs of boots - I want one pair that I can wear to work, heels high enough but not too high - I've really gotten into the whole "comfort" thing. And, I can't work when I'm not comfortable. The other pair can be something cooler, funkier and cheaper. It's so hard to shop in Halifax. If you do manage to find something half decent - the rest of the city is probably wearing it too - and I HATE that!
I'm going to be visiting my baby in ON in a few weeks and I can't wait! I'm weird - when I'm not around someone for about a week ...I sort of "forget" what they look like, talk like, smell like, etc. Then I get nervous about seeing the person too. So, yeah - I'm excited and nervous at the same time. And, he's coming here for xmas - he gets 10 days off so that's gonna be some real quality time. I was hoping to quit my job by xmas and have found something better - but considering xmas is just 2 months away, I'm pretty sure that won't be happening.
My friend W. is coming down for xmas too - so looking forward to that! Don't know about M. as yet though - I hope she'll be here too :) It would be a nice little reunion - the last time we were all together was last xmas. And Lord knows, I NEED my friends - I feel like such a loner at times....no one's left in this sorry excuse for a city!
Anyway...enough *blah, blah* for now - I really should get back to pretending to work - as much as I dislike my job, it's still the reason I can eat :) Hopefully, I won't be gone for too long this time... Till then....

hate work...

This weekend I did like I used to ..... Saturday nite... I can only remember having a couple of drinks (a couple being around 2) ... & well a lil bit of other sophisticated things that we never had access to back in the day...;) And, surprisingly I don't remember the most part of the nite... Hmm.. is this all a part of getting old?:) I can't remember it being a bad time at all.... although I do remember the toilet bowl :) And... feeling like someone was banging my head with a hammer the next morning. I think I'm going to give it another try this coming weekend, and let's see if I can make it without a hangover this time... coz I refuse to grow up :)

That aside, work is hell, work is boring, work is stressful... Yeah, I loved the job but now 3 months later.. I've decided this is NOT gonna be my career.. so, I've started the job hunt again... At least I have steady paychecks this time around. It's currently 7:06 PM and I'm still at work.. that should say something, rite?

Anyway, me blogging isn't getting me out of here any faster.... I'll have to update real soon.. I was in Vancouver and Toronto a couple of weeks ago... Anyway, all that in my next post...
And, someone I'm talkin to rite now on msn is pissing me off ...so let me go deal with that ;)

L*I*F*E

my TWO lives:

LIFE 1:
- go to work 9-5, plus work all hours of the nite as well
- sleep at 3-4am, wake up about 30 mins before i'm supposed to be at work
- struggle to pay off all that credit card debt, due to all my expensive "hobbies"
- love mini skirts, high heels, cute lil tops, and SHOES
- spend hours on my hair - curling it, straightening it, braiding it
- love to drink and get crunk! ...every night if i could :)
- love to club
- love attention from men (sorry L. :) )
- hate school
- have no passion or motivation to do anything
- lazy
- lady in the street & a freak in the bed :)
- love my man
............................well, you get the point:)

LIFE 2:
- i *apparently* work 9-5, sleep at 10pm, wake up at 7am
- have no debt and never did anything outside of school and work
- wear nice "sensible" clothes like baggy jeans and big t-shirts from the 80s
- hair? it's tied back in a pony all the time..or in "shuruba" (Amharic word for single braids)
- drink? hmmm... maybe a glass of wine if i'm FORCED into it
- club? that's for BAD people... very bad people ... "vagabonds" and "prostitutes"
- i'm still 10, and i get shy talkin to men
- love my school books, love to study
- very career oriented - i will be *somebody* one day! (ie: a doctor or engineer)
- hard working
- SEX? :o ......what's that? we don't talk about that.. we're not like THOSE people!!
- L. doesn't exist in this life :(

.........................................this life isn't even real

My dad's coming tonite... to visit for 3 weeks... i look forward to seeing him ..i haven't seen him since the last time i was home - Dec '03!
But, why must I keep my two lives separate?
I'm tired of living a lie.....

New Apartment

I did it! I moved :) I'm finally NOT a student anymore... Living near students for sooo long (hmmm.. a total of 6 years & 7 months to be exact) had me still thinking I'm a student - although I graduated in May 2004. Anyway, now I'm living in the heart of downtown - in the middle of the club scene and a 5 minute walk from work (I timed it!). The move was pretty stressful for me.. who would have thought I would have accumulated that many belongings in the past 4 years ... threw out a lot - including around 10 pairs of shoes - and I still have several others. At times I would also get upset, I can truthfully say I really grew up in that apartment and it held soooo many memories for me.... That's where I got to know L., that's where I completed my undergrad, that's where I started grad school, and that's where I completed grad school.. :) Anyway, I'm gone now, moved on ... and I'm happy - don't miss the old place at all! I'll post pics of the apartment once I manage to unpack everything - I'm currently still living out of boxes and suitcases (true desi style :) ). And the unpacking is on hold for now coz I'm really not well :( I caught a cold - was pretty bad...had to take a day off work to recuperate ...I'm much better now but still not 100%. Anyway, now that I have some of my appetite back I wanna order some Dominoes tonite, or alternatively go to wing nite & then sit at home and be a total couch potato. I plan to watch Spanglish tonite, hopefully it's worth watching... Anyway...I'm all out of things to say... Hopefully, my next post will have pics of the apartment.

The Past, The Present, The Future.....

10 years ago, i...
1. was studying for my IGCSE (O Level) exams
2. didn’t have any real friends
3. didn’t have a boyfriend or a life
4. was a virgin

5 years ago, i...
1. lived in Shirreff Hall
2. was failing school
3. was a Microbiology & Immunology major
4. thought I knew men

3 years ago, i...
1. thought I was going to become an I/O or Clinical psychologist
2. didn’t know how to find a job
3. went out every Friday nite to the Party House
4. was crying over L.

a year ago, i...
1. was finishing up my MBA degree
2. wondered why nothing was going according to my life-plan
3. realized 6 years of school doesn’t give you any real life experience
4. thought everything would work out by the end of summer

this year, i...
1. got a real job
2. realized I hardly have any friends
3. really believe everything happens for a reason (school, men, life…)
4. am slowly coming to terms with the fact that I’ll have to leave L.

yesterday, i...
1. did Tae-Bo!
2. had my going away lunch at Dal
3. ate meatballs and fries for dinner :)
4. slept relatively early (12:30am)

today, i...
1. did no work again
2. will go home and vegetate (plan to watch movies & eat pizza tonite)
3. am drinking butterscotch hotchocolate :)
4. will get drunk

tomorrow, i will...
1. sleep in
2. hopefully spend all day in L.’s bed ;)
3. play PS2 (Tekken 5/Defjam Fight for NY!)
4. spend every second with L. like it’s my last

...btw, i stole this idea from W. - thanx for giving me the opportunity to reflect on my life (or lack thereof! :) )

guess who's back....? :)

i'm back :) life has been a little insane lately! ...quick update... i have a real job now.... as a Marketing Coordinator with a b2b real estate company downtown! well my real title is "marketing/research coordinator" .... i am soooooo happy to be leaving my current sorry excuse for a job.... it was okay at times... but more often than not, it was toooo damn stressful! im still working there until tomorrow.... just part time... to finish things up... and it's driving me insane...there is really no need for all that stress and drama... damn ppl... chill out!! :) i'm liking the new position ..and the ppl here... and it's just one other female and 4 men.... did i ever mention that i cant stand females! lol .... females have waaay too many issues.... i'd rather work with 10 men any day! they're just too damn sensitive and psycho-bitch-ish
AND.... im getting a new apartment... :) when i saw it i KNEW it was the one i wanted... it's a corner one bedroom with a den... HUGE kitchen! HUGE bathroom and HUGE deck :) ... overlooking a club... what more do i want huh?:) i was warned it could get noisy.... but hey, when else will i ever want to live in the heart of downtown...i'm getting old as is :p can't wait until i finally move!! i'm really dreading the packing though.... i must own as many shoes as Carrie from SATC :) i'm gonna start this weekend... and yeah.. it WILL take me 3 weeks to pack.. maybe more..!
it's my baby's bday this saturday.... he already got his bday gift... ps2 console :) (i just hope i can pay it off now! :) ) i dunno what i have planned for him yet... we'll see.......;)
anyway, i've wasted enough company time blogging... time to head home now.....

hmmm...me @ 19?

just got back in from the Palace...hmmmm am i slowly losing my mind or something? tonite started out cool...very cool... started drinking at around 6pm i think...(as i had told myself i would)....about 9-10pm started feeling a lil sick... thought i might need food...so ate..showered, got dressed...started on the wine, etc etc again... was feeling GOOD... loved myself... and then got to the club and there were those damn 19 year olds!!! LOL ...okay, tonite wasn't as bad...i did have a lotta fun... but it brought a lot of memories to mind... seeing those girls, i saw a BIG difference between me and them...at that age... i didnt look like that? i wasnt doing all that... i guess im just wishing for those teenage years that i never really had...i had *visions* of pink bedrooms and ruffled pillows and whatever else i remember from residence....which i never had... maybe im just basing all this on a stereotype....but i never lived "their" life...
here's me thinking ...once again... i should just be staying home and not putting myself thru all this...maybe what this sorry excuse for a city really needs is an over 25s club...
its funny tonite was sooo good and depressing all at the same time....... i talked to my baby (who shall remain nameless for now) about all kinds of stuff ...we were talking about when we were younger and stuff that happened..like for example, how this guy called Frankie tried to kiss me when i was about 8 years old..
i keep WANTING to go to clubs..it's like i'm searching for something...something i'll never find in this city..
oh, i saw this desi chick tonite in a tight lil desi sweater...STARING at me! damn, if i would have had a chance i would have knocked her damn eyes out :) i guess the problem with me was...hmm..let me rephrase that ....the problems with me were:
- i was revealing cleavage
- i look indian, but don't behave it
- i was with a man who wasn't indian....i'm sure there are a million other "problems" with me and my *identity*
these days life seems to be revolving around this searching for myself, my roots shit... i want my life to sort itself out... i want a career... i want a man i can say i'm going to marry.... why me?:(
anyway...i'm rambling coz i've had a lil waaay too much to drink :) i think i need some mcdonalds (hey, why not just ADD to the damn weight problem!) ...and then some sleep... no work in the a.m. but i can work from home and get stuff done :) ...so then, i'll be able to repeat this sat nite...
....i guess i'm just wishing for a childhood i never had...